Dutch has a formal and an informal style, and the main choice is between _u_ (formal you) and _jij_ (informal you). Official letters add a few stiff words like _gaarne_ and _betreffende_, while friends shorten words to _'t_, _'k_ and _m'n_ in chat. Even formal Dutch prefers short, plain sentences, so polite does not have to mean complicated.
The pattern
Choose _u_ or _jij_ for the person first. Then match your words to the situation: set phrases in official letters, spoken shortcuts with friends, and plain, direct sentences almost everywhere else.
- Use _u_ with strangers in formal settings, officials and older people you don't know. Use _jij_ or _je_ with friends, family, children and, in most workplaces, colleagues (often your manager too). More in [U or jij: formal and informal you](#/lesson/u-or-jij).
- _u_ takes a singular verb, and the verb keeps its t in questions: _u bent_, _werkt u?_ The possessive (the word for your) is _uw_.
- Formal letter words you will mostly read rather than write: _gaarne_ (a very formal _graag_), _betreffende_ (regarding), _wij verzoeken u_ (we request that you), _indien_ (if). Subject lines often start with _Betreft:_.
- Spoken shortcuts: _'t_ for _het_, _'k_ for _ik_, _m'n_ for _mijn_ (my), _z'n_ for _zijn_ (his), _d'r_ for _haar_ (her) or _er_. They are fine in chats and casual emails, and out of place in formal letters.
Examples
| Kunt u morgenochtend om tien uur langskomen? | Could you come in tomorrow morning at ten? |
|---|---|
| Kun je morgen om tien uur even langskomen? | Can you pop by tomorrow at ten? |
| Wij verzoeken u het formulier uiterlijk 1 maart terug te sturen. | We request that you return the form by 1 March at the latest. |
| Wilt u het formulier uiterlijk 1 maart terugsturen? | Would you return the form by 1 March at the latest? |
| Betreffende uw aanvraag kunnen wij u het volgende meedelen. | Regarding your application, we can inform you of the following. |
| Wij ontvangen uw reactie gaarne binnen twee weken. | We would appreciate your reply within two weeks. |
| 'k Heb m'n fiets weer eens bij het station laten staan. | I've left my bike at the station again. |
| Joris is z'n sleutels kwijt en d'r is niemand thuis. | Joris has lost his keys and there's nobody home. |
| Sanne vindt 't niet erg als we wat later komen. | Sanne doesn't mind if we come a bit later. |
Why it works this way
The word for this is register: how formal or informal you sound. Think of Dutch register as two separate dials.
The first dial is the pronoun. English has one word for you, so the hard part is remembering to choose, and then staying consistent: _u_ goes with _uw_ and _alstublieft_, _jij_ goes with _jouw_ or _je_ and _alsjeblieft_. Over the past decades _jij_ has spread to many workplaces, shops and adverts, so _u_ now mainly signals distance and respect.
The second dial is style, and here Dutch is fairly direct. Politeness comes from _u_, _graag_, a question instead of an order, and small softeners like _even_. It does not come from long, roundabout sentences. Many organisations deliberately rewrite their letters this way, turning _Wij verzoeken u..._ into _Wilt u...?_ Words like _gaarne_ and _indien_ survive, but in a modern email they can sound old-fashioned. A word-for-word English _Ik vroeg me af of het misschien mogelijk zou zijn om..._ may even sound vague, while _Kunt u mij laten weten of...?_ is polite and clear.
The shortcuts come straight from speech. At normal speed, _het_, _ik_, _mijn_ and _zijn_ are pronounced weakly, and _'t_, _'k_, _m'n_ and _z'n_ simply write that down. That is why they feel natural in a chat with Mei and odd in a letter to the Belastingdienst. More in [Spoken shortcuts: 't, 'k, m'n, z'n, d'r](#/lesson/spoken-contractions).
Remember: Dutch formality is a clean shirt, not a tuxedo. You show respect with _u_, _uw_ and a polite question, not with heavy words and long sentences.
Watch out
- Not: _Kun u mij even helpen?_ Say: _Kunt u mij even helpen?_ (the t only drops when jij or je follows the verb)
- Not: _Zijn u de nieuwe buurvrouw?_ Say: _Bent u de nieuwe buurvrouw?_ (u takes a singular verb, unlike German Sie)
- Not: _Wilt u hier je naam invullen?_ Say: _Wilt u hier uw naam invullen?_ (once you say u, your is uw)
- Not: _In de bijlage vindt u m'n cv._ Say: _In de bijlage vindt u mijn cv._ (shortcuts do not belong in a job application)
- Not: _'T is koud vandaag._ Say: _'t Is koud vandaag._ (the capital goes on the word after the apostrophe)
Quick check
- Fill in the right form of _werken_: _... u hier al lang?_
- Choose _je_ or _uw_: _Mevrouw El Amrani, wilt u hier ... handtekening zetten?_
- Choose _Betreffende_, _Gaarne_ or _Indien_: _... uw klacht van 3 april kunnen wij u het volgende meedelen._
- Fill in the spoken shortcut for _haar_ in this text to a friend: _Yara is ... telefoon weer kwijt._
Answers
- _Werkt_: after _u_ the verb keeps its t, also in questions.
- _uw_: once you say _u_, the word for your is _uw_.
- _Betreffende_: it means regarding; _gaarne_ means gladly and _indien_ means if.
- _d'r_: the spoken shortcut for _haar_ (her).
Use it today
Take a letter or email from your gemeente, bank or insurer and underline every stiff word, such as _gaarne_, _betreffende_ or _indien_. Then rewrite one sentence in plain Dutch that still uses _u_. You will need the same skill in [Writing an email in Dutch: openings and closings](#/lesson/emails-and-letters).