Dutch has a formal and an informal way to say "you". _U_ is formal (polite, with some distance): use it with strangers, older people and in official settings like the town hall. _Jij_ or its short form _je_ is informal, and the Dutch switch to it quickly, even at most workplaces, so when in doubt, start with _u_ and follow the other person.
The pattern
Use _u_ to be polite and _jij_ or _je_ to be friendly. _U_ takes the verb form that _jij_ takes in a statement, and it can mean one person or a whole group.
- _U_: strangers, older people, anyone in an official role.
- _Jij_ or _je_: friends, family, children, people your age, most colleagues.
- Same verb as _jij_: _jij werkt_, _u werkt_; _jij bent_, _u bent_. With _hebben_, both _u hebt_ and _u heeft_ are correct.
- In questions, _u_ keeps the _t_: _Werkt u?_ When the subject _jij_ or _je_ comes right after the verb, the _t_ drops: _Werk jij?_ (more in [Werk jij? Where the t disappears](#/lesson/jij-inversion)).
- _U_ is singular and plural. The informal plural is _jullie_.
- The word for "your" follows the same split: _uw_ goes with _u_, _jouw_ or _je_ with _jij_.
Examples
| Bent u mevrouw De Vries? | Are you Mrs De Vries? |
|---|---|
| Heeft u een afspraak bij de huisarts? | Do you have an appointment with the GP? |
| Kunt u hier tekenen? | Can you sign here? |
| Dames en heren, hebt u allemaal een kaartje? | Ladies and gentlemen, do you all have a ticket? |
| Sanne, heb jij mijn sleutels? | Sanne, have you got my keys? |
| Daan, kom je ook op mijn verjaardag? | Daan, are you coming to my birthday too? |
| Pardon, werkt u hier? | Excuse me, do you work here? |
| Mei, werk jij hier ook? | Mei, do you work here too? |
Why it works this way
Think of _u_ as a polite coat. You keep it on with people you do not know, and you take it off when someone says _zeg maar jij_ (feel free to say _jij_). That often happens fast: many Dutch people say that being called _u_ makes them feel old. At work the coat usually comes off on day one, even with your manager. Once you have switched, going back to _u_ feels cold.
Why is _u heeft_ also fine? _U_ probably grew out of an old polite title, a bit like "Your Honour", and titles take the _hij_ verb. For most verbs the _jij_ and _hij_ forms are the same anyway (_werkt_, _woont_), so you rarely notice. With _zijn_, only _u bent_ is normal today.
Remember: when in doubt, wear the coat. Taking _u_ off is easy and friendly; putting it back on is awkward.
Watch out
- Not: _Zijn u klaar?_ Say: _Bent u klaar?_ (_u_ takes the _jij_ form, even for a group)
- Not: _Heb u een afspraak?_ Say: _Heeft u een afspraak?_ (with _u_ the final _t_ stays; it drops only when the subject _jij_ or _je_ comes right after the verb)
- Not: _Wat is u naam?_ Say: _Wat is uw naam?_ (the formal word for "your" is _uw_, with a _w_)
- Not: _Dank U wel._ Say: _Dank u wel._ (in everyday writing _u_ has a small letter, unlike German Sie)
Quick check
- Fill in the right form of _zijn_: _Mevrouw, u ... aan de beurt._
- Choose _u_ or _jij_: _Woont ... hier?_
- Fill in the right form of _komen_, speaking to an older couple: _Waar ... u vandaan?_
- Fix the sentence: _Wilt U koffie?_
Answers
- _bent_: _u_ takes the _jij_ form of _zijn_.
- _u_: with _jij_ as the subject after the verb, the _t_ drops (_Woon jij hier?_), so only _u_ fits.
- _komt_: _u_ keeps the singular verb, even for two people.
- _Wilt u koffie?_: in everyday writing, _u_ has a small letter.
Use it today
Ask one stranger a question with _u_ today, for example at the bakery: _Heeft u ook bruin brood?_ If a neighbour or colleague answers with _je_, or says _zeg maar jij_, switch to _jij_ straight away.